So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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