I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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