You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize