another moral hangover. fuck.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize