Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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