Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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