Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
