I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
