Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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