just come out here and I will go home with you...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
