Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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