I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
