Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
