Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
