I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
