He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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