He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
