She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
