Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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