Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
