I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
