Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
