well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
