At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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