Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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