I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
