Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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