Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
