lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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