it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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