I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
