somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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