I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
