We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize