Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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