Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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