He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
