she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
