I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
