Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
