When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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