Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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