you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
