I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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