You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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