I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
