The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
