Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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