have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
