he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Can I color on your dick again?
NoShamevember. You game?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
