It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
