weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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