she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
