youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
