the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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