So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
